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Monday Mourning

I did take A in this morning to see about his foot. The doctor said it seemed like a clean puncture and prescribed a tetanus booster. I am so glad I went in. I can't deal with any other losses now. He is still hopping but the doctor said he should be walking on it by the end of the week.

I spent some time crying yesterday afternoon. I was so jealous of those teenagers who are getting on with it, going to camp, getting ready for college,etc. when W will never do any of these things. Anger is creeping into the sadness and numbness. I'm glad to have this place, and to have a therapist.

I will see a patient today for the first time. I am dreading it somewhat; I hope I can keep my mind on things. Since I had just started working there, I was still trying to find my way. Now it will be even harder.

I am dreading the thank you notes, too. I started them but I can't make myself work on them again. Ugh.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
lonestarslp
Jun. 21st, 2004 06:04 pm (UTC)
Shot out of the saddle is a good description. Did your mom or your dad die first?

I keep thinking that if W had lingered, then I would have just spent a longer time being sad. Also, I like to think he died very quickly without suffering. I guess I'll never know. I do know we were always grateful that we were able to worry about "normal" things like grades.
(Deleted comment)
lonestarslp
Jun. 21st, 2004 08:12 pm (UTC)
That must have been hard, to be there when someone died suddenly. A friend of W's was there when he died. She knew CPR, so she stayed with him while the coach called 911. Her mother brought us to the hospital, and they sat with us. She wrote us a long email about what happened. I feel so bad for her, but I am glad W was with a friend.

We would love to see you. I haven't played guitar in a while, but I had intended to get a flute/guitar duet book (yes, they do exist!) in order to play with A, who is taking flute.
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