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Ranting

I am feeling very numb tonight. I actually had a good day at work, plus I got to have a nice dinner. A had a favorite friend over, and he was quite happy. I did feel pleasant today.

But it doesn't seem right. I keep going through these periods of where I don't feel anything about the fact W is dead. I know, this is "normal," but dammit, I don't like it! I don't want life to go on as before!

My body seems to be betraying my heart. It has only been two and a half weeks. I can't possibly be through grieving. I am worried that the antidepressant I have been taking for years is keeping me from being incredibly sad. I have been talking a lot, writing some, and resting a lot ( I am tired most of the time).

I hope I finally dream about him tonight.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
lonestarslp
Jun. 25th, 2004 08:01 pm (UTC)
*sigh* No I didn't. I think I am still in the Denial and Shock phase.
gurdonark
Jun. 25th, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
I know that no matter how you felt, at any given time, you'd wonder is this the "right" way to feel. Is it okay to have a good day? Is it okay to have a bad day.

That's just natural, and part of the process. This grief process will take a while, but it won't be like in a picture book. I think you just have to do that golf thing about play each mood where it lays.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )