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Aiiiiii! My friends list is frozen. It must be as cold as I am. So I guess I will just add to the traffic.

In the last two weeks, I have had: chest pains, the stomach flu, a hacking cough, and a crown fell off. So I think that I deserve to be ailment free for December.

I am supposed to be working on W's poetry book. I thought all the poems were book ready, but now that I have read through them, I realize that they are all in different formats and some are not dated. I guess I will just add them all to one file and format them together. I also need to write a short biography for him. I don't know what to say. I guess I can look at his obituary for ideas, except that I will put that he is an Eagle Scout.

The local scouting group is putting on an Eagle dinner for all the 2004 Eagles, and they invited us to send pictures of W. I assume we could also go to the dinner, but B does not want to. I understand that, but I am proud of my boy and I hope he is remembered at the dinner.

The countdown to Christmas begins. I sent out all my out of town family gifts today. I will not be decorating this year. I don't want to get sucked into the feeling happy about it then sad again. It is hard to balance being there for A with feeling my grief. On Thanksgiving, as we were driving home from lunch, I suddenly said "I miss W." A said "So do I." And we kept driving.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
mychildsdeath
Nov. 30th, 2004 05:55 pm (UTC)
misery loves company
...sorry to say this...actually, sorry you are feeling like me.... but it actually comforted me to read about your downturn in mood. i hadn't expected a new wave of raw grief to come over me....feels too much like the beginning..

...here's to a speedy end to the holiday season....
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )