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Sunday Night Blues

One of my biggest fears with this job is that I will grow to dislike it as much as I disliked my previous career as an engineer. I don't want to dread Monday mornings. I am afraid that I will not be capable of working full-time due to my illness. School starts tomorrow for my students, and even though I do not actually see students this week I do have to work out my therapy schedule. This is one of the hardest parts of the job since no one wants Johnny to be pulled out of their class time. The grade levels at this school apparently get together and agree on when would be a good time to let their grade go for the day. Unfortunately, this time has to be shared by all the specialists. I have already talked to the gifted teacher, who appropriated the entire week's pull-out time for her gifted 4th and 5th graders. Fortunately, I don't have any fourth or fifth graders that are both in therapy and the gifted program. Also, the second and third grade seem to be using the exact same time as their pull-out. Since I have two 3rd grade groups and 2 2nd grade groups that both need to meet twice a week, this will not work out.

I have put together a preliminary schedule for the principal that I plan to give him tomorrow morning. I hope it works out soon because I really need to schedule my other students around the elementary schedule. And I have so much other stuff to do. I still don't have a key to my room, and I don't have access to the computer network yet. And the dates of ARD meetings, evaluations, re-evaluations and pre-evaluation meetings is making my head spin. And my room is not finished yet. Notice I haven't even mentioned therapy plans.

On Sunday nights, I am usually haunted by the problems of the upcoming week. It has helped to remind myself that I can only do one thing at a time.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
gregwest98
Aug. 18th, 2002 08:02 pm (UTC)
Illness?

I've just spent an entire weekend with boy scout families who have various issues and being too polite to ask them for details so now I don't know what to say to any of them. Lucky for you that I finally cracked and decided to be ill-mannered now isn't it?

Email if you wish - just don't call me dirty names.
lonestarslp
Aug. 20th, 2002 06:12 pm (UTC)
Re:
It's not a problem. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder a few years ago. It's like being manic-depressive, except you are mostly depressed and just a little manic. I have been taking medicine for it for some time, but I still have trouble dealing with stress. Things are going better today, though.
amatrixangel
Aug. 18th, 2002 08:05 pm (UTC)
I don't want to dread Monday mornings.

I think if you do then that is telling you there is something 'wrong'. What that 'wrong' is about may come from an inner feeling that perhaps you should be doing something else, or a 'new' way of approaching it(?)
lonestarslp
Aug. 20th, 2002 06:14 pm (UTC)
Re:
The new way is what I am working on. SInce it is a brand new job in a brand new career, I guess I should not be surprised that it is anxiety-provoking. I am trying to hang in there until things calm donw. It does feel different from my old job, though, because I do feel strongly that is a necessary job. I wasn't too sure that my previous career was that necessary to the world.
amatrixangel
Aug. 20th, 2002 07:17 pm (UTC)
Yes, I can understad that. It reminds me of a time when I asked a friend of mine, "Why do you make art?" (she was an artist though :) and her answer 'surprised' me (it shoulnd't have). She said, "Because I can give something back to the world."

That answer, changed my whole life.
:-)
gurdonark
Aug. 19th, 2002 05:56 am (UTC)
I think there is probably a good time to assess whether you dread going to work. But the first two weeks of a new job, I respectfully suggest, may not be your best assessment point. Time is going to tell what you can do, and what you can't do, and worrying ahead of time is not going to be worth the trouble. It's easy to create self-fulfilling prophecies that way.

It sounds like you are going in busy; hang in there, and good fortune with this week's Monday, Tuesday, etc!



lonestarslp
Aug. 20th, 2002 06:16 pm (UTC)
Re:
You are right, most of this post was just the result of new job fear. It did feel better to have written it, so that I could read it and recognize it for what it was instead of having it gnaw at me. Much less gnawing this time around.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )