June 24th, 2004

animated lone


I am feeling very numb tonight. I actually had a good day at work, plus I got to have a nice dinner. A had a favorite friend over, and he was quite happy. I did feel pleasant today.

But it doesn't seem right. I keep going through these periods of where I don't feel anything about the fact W is dead. I know, this is "normal," but dammit, I don't like it! I don't want life to go on as before!

My body seems to be betraying my heart. It has only been two and a half weeks. I can't possibly be through grieving. I am worried that the antidepressant I have been taking for years is keeping me from being incredibly sad. I have been talking a lot, writing some, and resting a lot ( I am tired most of the time).

I hope I finally dream about him tonight.