December 27th, 2004

animated lone

(no subject)

I am feeling an overwhelming sense of relief that Christmas is over. We survived with little fallout. I even didn't mind going back to work today. My work schedule is still very light due to most kids still being off for the holidays, and it is a nice way to ease back into things. I took my Mp3 player to work and finished up a report that was overdue before my kids showed up. Tomorrow I have only one client--bliss!

B and A are leaving town tomorrow to visit B's mom. I am very glad they are going. She is extremely sick, and they need to visit as many times as they can while they can. I will miss them, though. I was hoping to play a board game with A tonight, but he got a better offer from his friends. He already has been invited to a New Year's Eve party.

During the first few weeks after W died, I remember feeling very protective of A and not wanting him to go too far away. Fortunately, I have relaxed since then, and I think we are treating him more or less "normally." I don't want to be too overprotective or too clingy, or too rejecting. I want him to have a normal life as possible. That's what we were able to give W. And even knowing what we know now, I hope we could have still given that to him. My number one priority right now is enabling A to have the best life he can. I know I can't make his life happy; only he can do that. But I can keep myself from introducing sources of unhappiness.