Ann (lonestarslp) wrote,

I think I know what hell must be like.

You are sitting in a room. You can feel and smell the person sitting on either side of you because the chairs are so close together. You have a number in your sweaty palm. You see a number board that flashes up random numbers, and occasionally the voice from Logan's Run calls out "Now serving 417 at counter 5." A lucky person goes to the back, where you imagine there is an oasis of pleasure. But your number is 58. And you have no idea whether your number has already been called or if you have to wait until she reaches 999 and starts again. So you wait. And you look at the TV that is playing just loudly enough for you to catch every third word. And the person next to you smells like cigarette smoke. An eternity later you hear the voice again. "Now serving 232 at counter number 9." And so on....

I sat through this for one and one half hours today because I had to renew my drivers license. I only had today to do it because I start work tomorrow. Fortunately, it was not hell, only the DMV, and my number was eventually called. I finally get to the oasis of counters and find a sweet man who checks my eyes, and then reviews the form I have filled out. He asks me, Do you take medication for a mental, emotional, or nervous condition?" I admit that I do. "I'm sorry, you're going to have to take a driver's test." What I get for being honest!

Not only do I have to take the driving portion, but I have to take the written portion as well. Without even studying, I pass the computer test. Then I stand in another line to receive further instructions. "Go to the back of the parking lot with these papers and wait in line with your car."

I wait with the air-conditioning blasting. and NPR on. Not so bad. Only three people ahead of me. I finally make it to the front of the line. "Where is your current registration sticker?" Oops, I had forgotten to put it on the windshield. As I frantically look for it in the glove box and all over my car, my friendly tester goes on to the next person, and tells me she'll come back when I 'm ready. It is now 2 and one half hours since I entered the DMV.

I call my husband, who does not know where the paperwork is either. He offers to bring me his car. I check with the tester, she agrees. Husband brings car. The tester asks me for our insurance on the car. There is no current proof of insurance in the car. Husband takes my car to find his insurance card. After the tester has finished with everyone else, I show her the old insurance card and she takes it to the DMV to check it out. Half an hour later, she returns and says we can begin the test. She informs me not to worry, and that I don't have to parallel park, just drive around a little just to make sure my medicine does not make me unable to drive. I manage to make it around with only a couple of snide remarks, and finally am able to get my license renewed. I leave four hours after I arrived at the DMV. I am shaking from hunger, so I pick up food and drive my husband's car home. As I lower the garage door, it crashes on my husband's back bumper. Sigh.

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