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So it has been eight months now since I saw my dear son alive. I still seem to be riding a roller coaster of numbness and pain. Although it's a gentler coaster now, like one of those rides on the kiddie side of the park. I am so tired of being sad, of talking about being sad, and of having sad stories to tell. Don't know what else to do, though. It won't get any better anytime soon, since B's mom is so very sick. Also, I still miss W so very much, and I don't really want to get over missing him. I want him to be missed forever.

Comments

cake_o_rama
Feb. 10th, 2005 02:01 am (UTC)
Funny, I felt that way today too....I was at an AA meeting earlier and mentioned that my mama died in September, sometimes saying it like that is hearing the worst of it for the first time all over again.
God Bless
lonestarslp
Feb. 10th, 2005 04:03 am (UTC)
Yes, saying it makes it more real. I scared my hairdresser to death the other day by mentioning it. I forgot that other people can be shocked by it still.